Thank You, Eber & Wein Publishing

So I would like to announce that I am Happy.
Not only am I Happy, but I am this much closer to success.
With every poem I write and story I create, and with every writing contest I enter and every book I publish, I become that much more happier, successful and most importantly, sure of my talent.

A few months ago, maybe around August, I entered some poetry contests and story contests. I entered one of my poems, 7:10 AM - a poem about a schizophrenic woman I had encountered some years ago. I entered this contest without any expectations. About a month or 2 ago I received a letter in the mail stating that I made it to the semi-finals. This EXCITED me in ways I can't even seem to remember. Well, today I spent the entire day Black Friday shopping for some Christmas gifts. I come home and my mom hands me an envelope with my name on it and the name "Eber & Wein Publishing" up top. The first thing that came to my mind was one those I'm-sorry-you-didn't-make-the-final-cut kind of letters (which I have gotten before) and I nonchalantly open it and to my dismay it said:

Congratulations! Your poem "7:10 AM" is a Second Prize winnrer in out most recent contest! This is a remarkable accomplishment of which you should be very proud, as your poem stood out among the thousands of entries we received....

All I can say is one word: CORONARY! I think I gave myself one because I jumped up and down and screamed and ran around and... was just flabergasted. I am SO incredibly happy. I won a prize check, my poem will be published in their anthology AND I get a personally engraved 2nd Place wall plaque mailed to me in 6-8 weeks. What an accomplishment, is right!

I thank my family for their support and for reminding me every day of my life that I am an amazing writer and to never give up my dream because it's written in the stars that this is what I was meant to do in this lifetime; write.

I thank my very few and close friends who have stuck by me and have also supported me in buying my book and telling me how much they can't wait for me to make it big because they believe in me. And I will.

I thank Eber & Wein Publishing for giving me such an opportunity to show the world that I love what I create and for giving me a chance to share that with other people. You guys rock!

And I thank myself - I thank myself for the determination in my heart, for having such a brain (that was blessed with my parents) and the ability it has to make me such a great writer and thinker, and for my ability to strive forward and follow my dreams no matter what. I believe in me. Always have. Always will.

I LOVE MY LIFE <3

No Guts, No Glory

"I tell our runners to divide the race into thirds, run the first part with your head, the middle with your personality, and the last part with your heart."

Everyday that I run, I run with my heart beating outside of my chest and my mind in the clouds; focusing on every beat my heart makes silently behind the music. Unbeknownst to me, I have learned after running for 10 years that it's all in your mind. Mental Stamina. Essential to every successful and motivated runner who runs not because he or she wants to see who is the fastest, but because he or she wants to see who has the most guts. Not everyone can run. Those who can, build up strength in their feet, courage in their lungs, determination in their heart, and heart in their minds.

George S. Patton, U.S. Army General, 1912 Olympian once said:

"Now if you are going to win any battle you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do. The body will always give up. It is always tired in the morning, noon, and night. But the body is never tired if the mind is not tired."

Today was my first day training for a half-marathon. I have a great love for my 5k races, but I know I have it in me to be greater than that. I'm running against myself - against the best that's in me.

I wanted to share my 10-week half-marathon training schedule incase you (the reader) might be interested as well. Follow me on my journey - I will be posting here to let you know how the remaining 10-weeks follow. Not only am I confident, but I have LOTS of heart. It grows deep and strong inside my chest and pulsates with every breath I take as my feet hit the ground in audacity.

Runners unite.


10-Week Half Marathon Training Schedule

Week 1:
Mon - 3 mi, Tues- Rest, Wed- 3 mi, Thurs- 3 mi, Fri- Rest, Sat- 4 mi, Sun- Rest. Total = 13

Week 2:
Mon - 3 mi, Tues- Rest, Wed- 4 mi, Thurs- 3 mi, Fri- Rest, Sat- 5 mi, Sun- Rest. Total = 15

Week 3:
Mon - 3 mi, Tues- Rest, Wed- 4 mi, Thurs- 3 mi, Fri- Rest, Sat- 6 mi, Sun- Rest. Total = 16

Week 4:
Mon - 3 mi, Tues- Rest, Wed- 5 mi, Thurs- 3 mi, Fri- Rest, Sat- 8 mi, Sun- Rest. Total = 19

Week 5:
Mon - 3 mi, Tues- Rest, Wed- 5 mi, Thurs- 3 mi, Fri- Rest, Sat- 10 mi, Sun- Rest. Total = 21

Week 6:
Mon - 4 mi, Tues- Rest, Wed- 5 mi, Thurs- 4 mi, Fri- Rest, Sat- 11 mi, Sun- Rest. Total = 24

Week 7:
Mon - 4 mi, Tues- Rest, Wed- 6 mi, Thurs- 4 mi, Fri- Rest, Sat- 12 mi, Sun- Rest. Total = 26

Week 8:
Mon - 4 mi, Tues- Rest, Wed- 5 mi, Thurs- 4 mi, Fri- Rest, Sat- 9 mi, Sun- Rest. Total = 22

Week 9:
Mon - 3 mi, Tues- Rest, Wed- 4 mi, Thurs- 3 mi, Fri- Rest, Sat- 8 mi, Sun- Rest. Total = 18

Week 10:
Mon - 3 mi, Tues- Rest, Wed- 3 mi, Thurs- Walk 2, Fri- Rest, Sat- 13.1 mi, Sun- Rest. Total = 21.1


I plan on running the NYC Marathon next November 2011. Excited isn't even the feeling.

She's a Wallflower

So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be.






I have to stop writing now because I am too sad.

Brought to you by... Dollface Betty Designs!

Lovers!

I am here to personally tell you that I have officially opened up my own store where I have hand-painted and decorated Day of the Dead skulls for sale. I have put my blood and sweat into these bad boys... okay, no blood (this time), but definitely hard work and I am PROUD to say that I, as an artist, would like to share my creation with YOU. Please take in account that these are one of a kind and no two are alike. Also, feel free to e-mail me if you would like an custom made skulls. I have sold a few and have been asked to work on various projects based on my skills that I am very much looking forward to working on. I hope you enjoy, and please check back every now and then for some brand new designs.

xoxo

http://www.etsy.com/shop/DollfaceBetty

This Longing

America, how you are older than the heartbeat.
And how I long to see more of you.

All That I am After...

I've come to the realization that what truly makes me happy is finding happiness in every little thing that I take part in. Whether it's the kaleidoscope of colors flashing in the dark to the beat of the music kick starting my heart, or the sound of laughter ringing through my ears louder than any conversation I can hear inside of a crowded restaurant, near. It's what makes these perma-lines on my face surrounding my eyes and lips come to life when every muscle senses its time to come together, when I am happy - extraordinaire. No poison-induced injection or animal fat-filled cream will ever stop these lines from forming because when I am old and grey, I will look in the mirror and say, "That is the epitome of happy." These freckles brown will slowly fade into my pouted frown and from behind my murky eyes ascend the nights of teenage disguise, and it will be then that I will recognize that my whole life was filled with me, and him, and them, and her, and everyone I ever allowed to see my eyes minimize and teeth shine. If I can count the lifeless souls I've seen wander the streets all hours of the day in snow and rain and sunshine bright, I'd forget to count past 807. I've learned to love with a love that is more than love - a strangers smile, a friends embrace, an admirers voice, my own reflection, lifes perfection. A time in the shower to swallow shampoo that tastes like the sound of that days true hue, embracing my soul - cleansing my internal need to flow like a river deep, hoping for a life full of laughter with you.

He Let Me Get Away

I stood in the street as you drove right through me
Held my hand up to make you stop
But you only saw the twisted lights
Against the black back drop

I tried to find you in your lonely, white bedroom
Followed your scent into the bed
But your body faced the other way
Pretending to be dead

I stood in your shower as you washed off the day
Wrapped my arms around you tight
But you only felt the water, cool
And not my heart ignite

I'll stay until you tell me to go and we can hit this road at 3
Just know that I am here for you so you can break apart on me

I sat by your car under the tree where you park
Waited for you to pick me up
But you climbed inside your vehicle
And drove off in a rush

I sat in the back seat so my reflection showed
Sang your song in whispers, deep
But you played your music louder
And I watched me drown in weeps

I stood in the runway as you stood behind glass
Watched the airplanes take their flight
But you thought of me inside the plane
And wished that you could fly

I'll stay until you tell me to go and we can hit this road at 3
Just know that I am here for you so you can break apart on me

I'll stay until you tell me to leave and we can catch a ride for free
Just know that I am here for you so you can cry upon my knee

I'll stay until you tell me good-bye and we can run away or flea
Just know that I am here for you so you can fall apart on me

What it's like...

1:24:15 am i crawl into bed.
1:25:52 am i turn over and kiss your cheek.
1:26:01 am you smile in your sleep.
1:26:45 am you mouth "i love you"
1:27:00 am i smile
1:30:13 am i kiss you.
1:30:14 am you kiss me back.
1:31:22 am i get comfortable and lay my head on your back.
1:31:25 am i wrap my arm around your waist.
1:31:40 am you sigh.
1:40:01 am i feel you breathe.
2:00:01 am i continue to move up and down.
2:02:30 am i smile.
2:04:22 am i blink slowly.
2:05:18 am i sigh.
2:05:28 am you snore.
2:06:50 am you stop.
2:07:38 am i fall asleep.
5:01:23 am you awake.
5:02:03 am i roll off of you.
5:05:49 am you watch me sleep.
5:06:02 am you kiss my nose.
5:07:11 am i open my eyes.
5:07:20 am you look into my eyes.
5:08:00 am i look back into yours.
5:08:33 am you kiss me.
5:08:41 am i kiss you back.
5:09:09 am we kiss each other.
5:10:50 am we stop.
5:11:33 am i blink back tears.
5:12:40 am you ask "what's wrong?"
5:13:44 am i say "i'm happy"
5:14:06 am you wipe my tears.
5:15:22 am i pull you in.
5:16:31 am i kiss your chin.
5:17:13 am you pull me in.
5:18:00 am we spoon.
5:19:49 am i say your name.
5:20:41 am you say, "yes?"
5:21:29 am i say, "i love you."
5:23:29 am you hold me tighter.
5:24:58 am i fall asleep.
5:25:00 am you say, "i love you too"

Regret Number 23.

Dear _____,

She hated the way I snapped.
I broke her with my words in half like a pretzel.
A stale, saltless one at that.
One no one wanted to eat. Good for her.

She hated the way I cracked.
I tore at her with my thoughts like a tornado.
A musty, murky water grey.
One that hates and doesn't care. Fine with me.

She hated the way I lied.
I crucified her with my hands on the keypad.
A broken, dirty fingernail black.
One that looks like diseased grime. You deserve it.

She hated the way I cried.
I hollered at her like a newborn baby, dying.
A bruise of green and purple too.
One no one wanted to look at or hold. I'm used to it.

She hated the way I hated.
I looked at her with lonely eyes of a starving child, hypnotized.
An internally bleeding shade of red.
One that looks like a beatless heart. I regretted giving that away.

My Book is Published - Thank You, Lulu!

I've done it! My book, Down the Rabbit Hole, has finally been self-published and I am extremely proud to say that after working (hard) on this since last year, it is finally done and can be bought online. Thanks to Lulu, I was able to compile my poetry book, come up with an amazing cover using my ideas and pay a professional to make it into something unique, creative and just... my own. I've always been a firm believer of getting ANYTHING I want as long as I work hard toward it and believe in myself. I believe in myself and KNOW that I can strive and become someone amazing. Someone that people can acknowledge and say, "She is a diligent young woman who has come a long way... just look at her." Coming from someone... anyone... it means a lot to me.

I want to thank...

My family and close friends (who are my second family - you know who you are) for all of their love and support. Without you there by my side cheering me on, I wouldn't have been able to go through with this.

My supporters and believers for seeing something in me that I didn't/don't see.

Those who have survived and who are celebrating life in another world... there's more to life than just living, and you have proved yourself to be worthy. Leave your mark. You'll be noticed. I promise. You will be remembered, always.

If you are interested in buying my book, I would greatly appreciate it. It has nothing to do with the money. I don't care about the money. It's the message I am trying to put across to the world and the issues that people face every single day that need to be addressed. People struggle and fall through rabbit holes of disease, poverty, depression, addiction, isolation, etc... some come out alive, and some don't. It's a journey... a long, painful journey. Embark on it.

Here is where you can buy my book:



Tell your friends and family. Thanks again!!!

Sweet Stuff

So I got hired a week or 2 ago to be a freelance writer for this website, Suite101, that actually pays per article view. The more people who read it, the better :) It would be GREAT if you, whoever you are, decide to read them... I would be so happy because this, writing, has been a passion of mine since forever and I've been trying SO hard to make this into a career! I'll put the links below of the 2 articles that have already been published. More will be coming, don't doubt it ;) Thanks again!

http://vacations.suite101.com/article.cfm/the_pennsylvania_renaissance_faire

http://walking-running-training.suite101.com/article.cfm/smart_snacks_for_runners

Thanks again. Oh don't forget ti Digg it. It's that little button on the bottom right hand corner of the article screen. You just have to click the "digg it" button. Thanks again <3

xoxo

Down the Rabbit Hole

It's been a while since I've written, but I had to take some time away to work on some things. I'm finally done with my poetry book, "Down the Rabbit Hole" and I'm currently looking/sending my manuscript out so that I can *hopefully* get it published. I have no doubt in my mind that it will. I've worked long and hard for this and now that I'm done, I feel a sense of relief within me. I feel at peace with myself and my feelings. I've gone through a lot within the past yr and and a half (almost) and I think I deserve for something good to happen to me. That's what this is book is for... I had a hard time believing in myself for a while due to certain circumstances, but that's in the past now. Here's to the start of a new life and career !

Here's a sneak peak of the start of a successful read...

"From deep desired calamity, the presence of your spirit sank and created a still life of sculptured power.
Your finality drew in a breath of perception that enabled wondrous existence and obscure obedience.
With every linear stroke, your perfected round arose awe and curiosity as the minute windows leading to your dire flame opened up another part of man.
The scarcity was apparent and the sensitivity of your core shown through mounds of amber struggle, but with every lighted spot that lived on the surface, there was a sense of elegant refinement- a sense of a new embrace...."

Thanks to the love of my life... my inspiration, now gone but forever in my heart.

Look out for it in stores soon ;)

An Older Version of Me

She was older, more refined. Experienced a lot in her time and although she held words of wisdom deep within, it was with intellect she persuaded him. Comforted and understood the complicated, relieved and rejuvenated, she was motivated. Held the tragedy in her hands, cradled who she thought would ease the commands, but slowly faded toward the sky. It was with falsity her alibi broke free and strangled what was left to see. Suffocated him with forged repercussions and reasons why he should leave. He thought about the years before when an angel ascended from a world filled with smoke, and kissed every part of him. She became his kin and left him with an image of finality. Until the older, more refined epitome of sin disregarded his feelings of bliss and appointed a new kind of life. She opened her wings and allowed him to cry. She stood in front of her castle doors draped in red with horns and he fell for something new and appealing. Something seen as evil and endearing, unlike the angel who was a dear blessing. He figured life would be easier with her to comprehend his feelings, but what he didn’t see was that she wasn’t all she was put out to be. She had a life behind the doors, filled with years of wanting more and with her scheming ways of abhor, she tricked him into believing he would never be happier without her. He managed to live with the falsehood for a while, feeling invigorated with the sight of the devils smile, and while the thoughts of the angel proceeded in his mind, she removed them with time and he never even knew. She was too vile to be subdued and when he saw that his new living was a mistake, he ran back to his angel, but it was too late. Her wings of white were covered in red and she was crawled like a fetus upon his bed, and wet were his pillows with her tears of grief. He shook her gently and felt no relief when he saw her twitch with the touch of his hand. She opened her eyes gently and held out her hand:

“I was sent down from heaven by God to you, because he saw what kind of life you had gone through. And right when I had protected you, you fell into the hands of sin. Why couldn’t you just appreciate the gift that He had given? He granted you, me. He granted you life. He gave you a chance to prove yourself right and start over with me by your side; an angel whose wings would cover you at night. But the wings you fell into hid you from day, blindfolded your eyes and spoon-fed you hate. I’m sorry, but I waited. My heart slowly died and bled. An angel only lives when with love it is fed, and you neglected to care for what you left to die on this bed. See angels aren’t supposed to love a man –their purpose in life is to lend out a hand and help those who need it without command. But when I came into your life, you were an angel in himself. So I threw away the rules and loved you inside and out. This love caused me to bleed inside and now it’s too late. I just wanted you by my side. I wanted God to see that it’s okay for an angel like me, to love a man like you, but you took this for granted and I confided in you. When I’m gone, you must do as I say… be happy with what comes your way and never let go of something you can’t live without in real life, because if you have it in your dreams all of the time, you’ll never acknowledge it’s importance when it’s out of your sight. Thanks for allowing me to love you unconditionally.”

She closed her eyes and let go of his hand, and he sat there in her blood waiting for her to come back. He pressed his lips to her mouth and pushed down on her chest, waited for a heart beat and realized she was put to rest.

A poem written last year about a man who left his love (an angel) for someone else (an evil being)... someone older... an older version of her. After trying, she knew she couldn't compete with someone such as she, so the angel, his angel... died of a broken heart.

Love In Death's Head

She held the skull of her husband, up, slanted,
toward the light. Revealing the crack, long and precise,
that drew past the middle, between his eyes,
down his nose. To the lips that once spoke of truth.
Sunken eyes revealed pain, from starring, too long,
into the light. She saw past the darkness, into,
mangled cobwebs that accumulated
when she rolled the skull, down the hall.
Waiting to see how long, it would take, to shatter.
Smiling at the sight of crawling splinters,
severing the bone like a threaded needle, ripping,
stitching through.
Dissolving. Like her want for him,
now dispersed. Love, lingering,
like the dust particles hidden in the nostrils
and underneath the wedding gown she wore as skin.
Wrinkled and gray from decades of wear.
And tear. Obsessed with tautness,
like the night she fell into love with a man
she killed by hugging too tightly. Despairingly.
His skull, reminding her, of the dangers,
associated with the heart’s senseless furnace.

Here is yet, another addition to my poetry book. I wrote this not too long after a personal occurrence that shattered my being exactly 1 year ago today. The influence of the title sparked from my ever favorite Salvador Dali and the thought behind the text was just something I put together lying in bed crying. I wrote this with my heart barely beating in my chest.

Surgical Symphony

The uneven hemlines stretched across the surface,
hid the unequal distance between beauty and anguish.
Beauty, not branded, but torment equally as pleasing,
caused him to take the shade from her canvas
and leave her with the white.
On a bed made for one, she was injected with a lullaby.
Soothing yet invigorating like the sound of opera
that caused her to slumber en pointe.
The smell of surgical steel ripped through the ruffled pink
and like a physician’s needle, it penetrated through
the delicate and into the deviant.
The adolescent curvature created a contortion
amongst the lips of masked disguise,
but it allowed their hands to speak
for the sentiment in which resided in their eyes.
The ladder of stainless steel gracefully infused,
held together the pieces
of endless attempts of refinement. Confinement
within her home of satin and speckled broken skin.
The scraps of metal dismembered, remembered
like the last dance to Stravinsky
before the fall of Russia. And as they threaded
her close like a fitted corset,
her body of flaws turned toward the avenue
of mottled shadows dancing to a song that
was the length of her scar.
In honest form, past the frame,
her beauty protruded from flesh where her mind
laid adjacent to her body’s blur. And the curtains closed.


Another addition for my poetry book that gains some morbid, yet realistic tones. This can be taken a lot of ways (and it has). Feel free to use your mind.

7:10 AM

This was something she never wanted.
She recalled the way she liked her eggs-
sunny side up like the sunny side of the sun
beating down her crowded cubicle.
Yet she was alone,
acquiring the left taste of black stimulant, cold,
and right bottled caffeine, while claiming
to only enjoy the savor of tobacco after every sip.
Through the looking-glass,
she waved away the flies
and shook her head in tune with the sirens
that glorified death and old distress.
The cigarette smoke never left her lips
because in this dream, she felt it soothe her soul.
She wasn’t going back to sleep on the pillow
stitched by the demon prince who told her
she was too fat to want to live,
but shaped enough to fit into the jacket of restrain.
The voices hadn’t stopped her
from begging into her empty cup, as she struggled
to fight away the taste of terror
that rang through her ears.
It had nothing to do with her poverty of speech
or lack of processing thoughts,
but she couldn’t say no when he asked her to dance.


This poem was written by me last year and will be included in my poetry book. This was based on real life... something I saw in NYC early one morning waiting for a ride to go home. She was indeed far, far away from home...

As Seen On TV

AS SEEN ON TV

She wore this dress with intentions of suicide.
A kaleidoscope of colors arranged to form a pattern
like thirteen geese heading north
to enter the storm. V-shaped in flight,
but abundantly closer to one another that time.
This dress it was, as seen, on TV,
slightly altered, but dangerously crimson in shade.
Almost like swimming in a bathtub of fire ants,
it caused her blue to red to spill. To drain,
to drown the ants in a puddle of dark, thickened
hemorrhages. Its sapphire hue was distinctly measured
in frill and fringe and ruffle thin. To keep
the pieces intact, to water down the red.
To unfasten the window that
stuck itself to the sill’s frost.
The purple and green stood out
in scattered, battered blotches from top
to bottom to corners. Painfully outlined
in yellow dismantled circles
this dress was seen on TV floating in a bathtub.
A razorblade keeping the water from
falling down the drain
to pipes to there. Out there. The dress
was short and long enough to reach over the porcelain
to the floor, to the door and underneath the wood
to the carpet. But not strong enough to
want to. Floating in cold water heavy
the stains, stayed inside of the fabric
and remained upon her body, as seen, on TV.


I wrote this poem for my Creative Writing: Poetry class my senior year in college last year, 2008. This is the first poem I have chosen to be included in my poetry book that I have decided to compile for future publication besides my novel. I am very proud of the turnout of this poem and it was written with a different style than what I am used to writing in a way. My influence sparked from a personal matter as well as from the media, so it hits home a bit. Other than that, it was very fun to write!

Summer Shudder Excerpt: A long lived memory...

Besides the previous excerpt that I included in the post from yesterday, this is also one of my favorites. Placed in chapter 1, this was a real life memory that I had endured within me for years. To be able to include this in my novel allowed me to let go of whatever memory I had of that day and put it into writing for someone else to enjoy as much as I did that warm summer day at the beach. I relive this memory every time I read it. I'm sure someone else can relate. This is just another long lived memory . . . :

The sky looked ominous this time of the evening and the branches on the trees knocked against the window of the 2 floor house in an uneven pattern. The shades were raised to the very top and the shadows that protruded from distinct motions of the dark against the light emerged from the dim corners of the walls. The hot pink gleam from the once setting sun diminished behind the grey and the wind seeped through the closed window, covertly. The rustling of the tree branches outside resembled that of drums and the rhythmic undertone of the beats against the glass echoed the music made when waves collide.

The distant scent of sea salt and coconut lime filtered the stale air, and intertwined between the forest green sheets and beige velour. The familiar aroma inched its way up to the burgundy pillow cases and comforted the room with a delicate, tranquil state. With eyes wide shut and exposed skin, the gentle breeze tip toed up each leg, gently treading along every curve until it reached its peak of luxury. The aroma devoured his nostrils and in a matter of moments, each whiff of pure bliss caused him to toss and turn in sheer torment.

The soft, caramel skin living on her stomach glided against his chiseled torso as they hugged, with toes buried beneath the sand. His sturdy arms were wrapped around her tiny waist and her slender arms hung loosely around his neck, with fingers gently tugging on the little, brown hairs growing on the back of his neck. Her eyes glowed with pure ecstasy as his minute eyes glared at her lovingly. They were surrounded by all sorts of people, but that morning on the beach, they felt like they were the only mortals in existence. Her extensive legs elongated, as she tip toed to plant gentle kisses on his forehead and the bridge of his European nose that she loved to kiss. Her innocent features captivated the soft spot that existed in his heart and her youthful presence ignited a fire in his soul that he kept lit for days to come. With no words, she grabbed his hand and urged him to walk along the shoreline. The sun beamed bright across their shoulders and the coolness of the water across their feet on the searing sand caused a sigh of relief to escape from their lips. They sat on the sand side by side after walking halfway across the beach and watched the bright blue water rise and fall against the backdrop of the powder blue, cloudless sky. As she focused her eyes on the different textures the waves produced as they collided with one another, he stared at her with an eternal gaze that suspended his heart to his wind pipe and stopped his breathing. While she wondered why the sky was blue and not purple, and how the jetty got there, he wondered why he was so infatuated with this girl and how the love he had for her grew so fast in such a short meeting. She glanced at him and smiled a smile that took his breath away. She placed her hand on the side of his prickly face, planted a kiss on his lips and stood up with arms wide open. He smiled a smile that caused her heart to liquefy and as he leaned in for a hug, she closed her eyes and was in absolute stupor.

The distinct memory of that day played various nights of almost every week as he entangled himself in the cold sheets that covered his desolate cradle. The feel of her skin, the taste of her kiss, the smell of her hair, the sound of her heart- it all subsided in some way. The beads of sweat dripped down his forehead into his soft brown hair causing damp spots to develop among his pillow case just as it did ever so often. He tossed and turned in torment with every playful glance she gave him, and every God given smile that protruded from her face when he looked her way, and it was then the memories came crashing into his dream-filled sleep.

Summer Shudder Excerpt: An introduction

I started writing a romance/drama novel, Summer Shudder, sometime last year and I am about half way done or so. It's mostly based on real life with some dramatized scenes and I currently have eight full chapters. This is very exciting for me because I have been struggling with my writing for a few months due to some personal reasons, but I am slowly regaining my confidence back that I once had aimed toward my talent of writing. I know I am great and I have worked so hard to being great again and this is exactly what I want to accomplish. In lieu of the new year and starting this new blog, I have decided to include an excerpt from chapter 2. One of my favorite parts of my novel so far:


Caden got into his car and made his way home with the windows down and the radio on. The heavy metal that released from his speakers soothed his soul and without a care in the world he sang along with the music as loud as he could with the wind blowing at his back. Tomorrow was the dawn of a new day and as eventful as today was, he hoped that tomorrow was going to be even more eventful minus the sight of Beata Horrace. As soon Violet was out of the picture, Beata had entered still irritating and manipulative as ever. But he wasn’t going to waste his thoughts on someone who wasn’t a part of his life anymore due to a lack of commitment and love and an excess of confidence, but rather someone who wasn’t a part of his life anymore who possessed so much commitment and love, but lacked confidence. At the next red light, he stopped the car and looked over at the passenger seat where she used to sit.

She looked over at him and smiled. With the gentle flutter of her eyelashes, she puckered her lips and brought his hand up toward her to kiss. She released the seatbelt that strapped her in, brought her bare legs from underneath and lay them across his lap with the back of her head leaned against the open window. He looked over and smiled, while resting his hand on her leg that gently caressed her silky smooth skin. Her knee-length, loose white dress was hiked up her thighs for that was one of the hottest days that summer. She pulled her hair up in a loose bun and started to laugh as Caden continued to drive off. He turned down a few streets and decided to drive on the side road next to the ocean. She raised her hands in the air above her head and outside her window and made love to the wind. She closed her eyes and when he looked over at her, he knew he was in love. The faster he drove the harder the wind hit her and the larger her smile became. She opened her eyes and drew a blank stare while focusing in on the stars above. He glanced over numerous times without her noticing and smiled at the sight of just how fascinated she was with the outside world. He pulled up in front of the ocean and stopped the car. He unbuckled his seatbelt and rubbed her feet while she continued to stare up into the universe. She looked at him slowly and brought her lips into a small frown. He picked her foot up and kissed her ankle slowly making his way to her calf. He sent shivers down her spine and around to her chest. She closed her eyes and settled in lower in her seat while he irresistibly kept his lips on her warm, caramel skin. She opened her eyes and met in an enticing gaze that caused a desirable fire to burn in the center of her heart. She released her leg from his grip and reached over him to move his seat in a laying down position. She crawled on top of him and placed a leg on each of his side, causing him to jerk his hips in a quick motion. She bent down and looked into his eyes before kissing him. She felt his heart beating against her chest and felt the nervousness that exhilarated from his core. His breathing grew heavy and his heart beat quicker with every second that she remained looking at him. Her seductive demeanor set off a release of emotions both on the inside and out and resisting the urge to tear at her dress, he laid his head back and allowed her to dominate him. She ran her fingers through his hair and engulfed his scent that released from his neck. She leaned in for a kiss and tricked him when he suddenly felt her lips on his neck instead. He moaned inwardly as she gently pulled at his hair and nibbled on his nape. She spread her legs wider and while leaving trails of kisses from his neck to his throat, she reached down and pulled at his tank top vigorously. She breathed heavy with every forceful kiss she laid on his lips and released him of his shirt when she pulled his arms up and tugged it away while throwing it to the back seat of the car. As she sat up to unbutton her dress, she hit her head with the hood of the car and laughed as the pain subsided. He gently brought her head down to his chest and kissed its crown while laughing along with her. She looked up at him with watered eyes and smiled, “We’re far too long for this, baby. Let’s love at home.”

Caden remembered that night as if it was yesterday and the surge of emotions that rushed from his head and released out his body into hers that night was something he ached to share again with Violet and dreamed about frequently. He couldn’t forget how she would disappear underneath him when he slowly moved into her nor the feeling of her long legs wrapped around his body when they became one. As he pulled into his driveway he shook off the memories and adjusted the bulge in his pants that seemed to form whenever thoughts of her bare body came to play. She had this way of saying his name when in lust and another when in love, and no matter how she said it, it still touched a delicate place in his heart that sounded off like a rapid gunfire in his brain. At least tonight he was going to lay at rest with reminisces of their beautiful love making and maybe sooner than he thought, he was going to make those memories come true. Who am I kidding? He asked himself as he stripped himself of his clothing and lay in bed under the moonlight that shone through his window onto his body. He breathed one last breath of air before rolling over and falling asleep with one arm draped over his bedside.

Relatemag.com

Since October 2008, I have been freelancing for this online magazine that inspires teen girls to pursue their dreams with confidence and to teach them to be an example for others in their speech, life, love, faith and purity. I really do enjoy writing for this magazine and I chose to freelance for Relatemag.com for various reasons. Besides the fact that I have always wanted a younger sister to influence and look up to me, I thought this would be a great opportunity for me to do just that with other young girls out there who seek assistance, advice and words of wisdom from other women. So far I have 3 published articles and I am continuing to contribute as much as I can and hopefully help at least one teen girl out there every time I write.

Here are the links to my articles... I promise you, they are great!

http://www.relatemag.com/the-scare-in-washing-color-treated-hair/

http://www.relatemag.com/feed-the-children/

http://www.relatemag.com/visiting-angels/